The Virgin Prince's War Journal

The grim and gritty side of things. If everyone had a soundtrack to their lives, mine would be the best.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Because Tony Hensley Is A Complete Dumb-Ass and Idiot

My fellow non-invertebrates,

     More than a year ago, back in January of 2005, I wrote a little bit about a scumbag and dumbfuck I’d once known by the name of Tony Hensley. Around October he found my post and left a comment for me (I’m not surprised in the least that he’d use Google to look up his own name, he’d always had a disturbing amount of arrogance and belief in his own self-importance for one with such an obvious lack of anything remotely notable) which I’ve since left up, figuring that I’d much prefer for you all to see him as the dumb-ass that he is. For fun’s sake, let’s put the comment up first, and I swear upon everything most holy, that I haven’t altered it in any way.

The Virgin Prince is a closet homosexually who plays with childrens toys and lives with his mom. He is in his late twenties now and a paranoid schitzophrenic who has to create an arch nemisis for his delusional obsession to become a super hero. I have worked at this theatre and I have never seen anyone so obsessed with his workplace in my entire life as he would repeatedly sleep there and play with his toys in there religiously every night. He was also an alcoholic who's exquisite taste's were only satisfied by cheap malt liqour and marijauna. That's right. He was a profucious pot smoker and habitual loser who lived a fantasy life through his comics. A classic Peter Pan syndrome.I gurantee you this is a work of fiction that he pleasures himself to it every night and as you can tell he writes about it kind of obsessively, huh? These people are psuedo intellectuals who seperate themselves from the people around them they deem incapable of proper thinking. They believe they are elite and that there enlightened thinking will bring them to a higher level of being and solve all of the worlds societal issues. They stay up late many a night debating and fueling there psychological war against society but yet fail to realize they are completely incapable of doing anything at all. The only people they are fooling is themselves. I know this little tribe of people and they are just bitter outcasts who make up fantasies to excite their boring and patheticly meger lives. I know Tony Hensley personaly and he has always been a well trusted friend and would never do harm to anyone. I have personaly seen him capture a spider in his house and set it free outside instead of killing it. He is compassionate and caring and tries to make those around him happy as well. He has never stalked anyone and is only jealous because Tony  kissed the girl he had an obsessive crush on and only believed he was stalking here when he drove by her house one night when they were outside but little did he mention or fail to realize in his pathetic childrens mind that Tonys dad lives on the same street as her and he was driving to his house to drop off a letter to his Dad about a divorce settlement dispute happening between his parents that was really taking it's toll on his feelings. And also to put the record strait since we're goona put the truth on the line: everyone stole from that theatre, everyone, even the prince valiant himself. Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear.

     Well, lets go over the grammar and spelling errors first, because this is no brain-surgeon we’re dealing with.

The Virgin Prince is a closet homosexually (homosexual) who plays with childrens (children’s) toys and lives with his mom. He is in his late twenties now and a paranoid schitzophrenic (schizophrenic) who has to create an arch nemisis (arch-nemesis) for his delusional obsession to become a super hero. I have worked at this theatre and I have never seen anyone so obsessed with his workplace in my entire life as he would repeatedly sleep there and play with his toys in there religiously every night. He was also an alcoholic who's (whose) exquisite taste's (tastes) were only satisfied by cheap malt liqour (liquor) and marijauna (marijuana). That's right. He was a profucious (not a word, though profuse, profusely, and profuseness are) pot smoker and habitual loser who lived a fantasy life through his comics. A classic Peter Pan syndrome.I gurantee (guarantee) you this is a work of fiction that he pleasures himself to it every night (that he pleasures himself to every night) and as you can tell he writes about it kind of obsessively, huh? These people are psuedo (pseudo) intellectuals who seperate (separate) themselves from the people around them they deem incapable of proper thinking. They believe they are elite and that there (their) enlightened thinking will bring them to a higher level of being and solve all of the worlds (world’s) societal issues. They stay up late many a night debating and fueling there (their) psychological war against society but yet fail to realize they are completely incapable of doing anything at all. The only people they are fooling is (are) themselves. I know this little tribe of people and they are just bitter outcasts who make up fantasies to excite their boring and patheticly (pathetically) meger (meager) lives. I know Tony Hensley personaly (personally) and he has always been a well trusted friend and would never do harm to anyone. I have personaly (personally) seen him capture a spider in his house and set it free outside instead of killing it. He is compassionate and caring and tries to make those around him happy as well. He has never stalked anyone and is only jealous (Tony is jealous? Or did he mean to say that I was jealous, in his poorly-written way?) because Tony  kissed the girl he had an obsessive crush on and only believed he was stalking here (her) when he drove by her house one night when they were outside but little did he mention or fail to realize in his pathetic childrens (children’s) mind that Tonys (Tony’s) dad lives on the same street as her and he was driving to his house to drop off a letter to his Dad about a divorce settlement dispute happening between his parents that was really taking it's (its) toll on his feelings. And also to put the record strait (straight) since we're goona (gonna) put the truth on the line: everyone stole from that theatre, everyone, even the prince valiant (proper name: Prince Valiant) himself. Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear.

     Okay, here comes the fun part: this is the part where I dissect what he wrote and respond with the truth of the matter and point out the glaring inaccuracies.

The Virgin Prince is a closet homosexually

     Actually this is wrong in not one, but two ways: One, I absolutely love women, two, I make no secret of it.

who plays with childrens toys and lives with his mom.

     It should be pointed out that Tony alternated between living with his mom and living with his dad, as one would get sick of him and kick him out, and the other would take him in until they got sick of him and the cycle was repeated. This happened many times.

He is in his late twenties now and a paranoid schitzophrenic

     Tony is very well known for being an obsessive liar, to the point where he himself begins to believe the lies he tells.

who has to create an arch nemisis for his delusional obsession to become a super hero. I have worked at this theatre and I have never seen anyone so obsessed with his workplace in my entire life.

     What this really translates to is that Tony had no work-ethic whatsoever, and stealing money and doing nothing was his highest priority. Furthermore, I have never wanted for an arch-nemesis. Tony chose to make himself my enemy, for reasons I’ll never understand.

as he would repeatedly sleep there and play with his toys in there religiously every night. He was also an alcoholic who's exquisite taste's were only satisfied by cheap malt liqour and marijauna. That's right. He was a profucious pot smoker and habitual loser who lived a fantasy life through his comics. A classic Peter Pan syndrome.

     Okay, this one’s a goldmine: Tony loved Budweiser. Shitty, crappy Budweiser. Sometimes Coors. While I enjoy the finer Irish whiskeys… Bushmills, Jameson, Blackbush, Middleton’s, the like… Tony just loved that shitty white-trash piss-water beer. Speaking of fantasies, this guy was a drummer, A DRUMMER (and a crappy one at that) in a crappy band with a crappy name, and he often spoke of all the money he would have when he was rich and famous. Mostly, he was content to rip off Weezer every chance he got.

     I should also point out that Tony was a pot DEALER and smoked a heck of a lot more of the stuff than I ever did. He regularly brought a large duffle bag to work and with which he tried to sell pot to my coworkers. He also hid a bong up in the projection booth.

I gurantee you this is a work of fiction that he pleasures himself to it every night and as you can tell he writes about it kind of obsessively, huh?

     Actually, I generally pleasure myself to pictures of Aria Giovanni (whom I’ve actually met in person) when not finding satisfaction with another female.

These people are psuedo intellectuals who seperate themselves from the people around them they deem incapable of proper thinking. They believe they are elite and that there enlightened thinking will bring them to a higher level of being and solve all of the worlds societal issues. They stay up late many a night debating and fueling there psychological war against society but yet fail to realize they are completely incapable of doing anything at all. The only people they are fooling is themselves. I know this little tribe of people and they are just bitter outcasts who make up fantasies to excite their boring and patheticly meger lives.

     I love how out of nowhere I am suddenly not one, but many people. He’s referring to everyone else who worked at the theatre here, because he had no friends there. Of everyone, I liked him the most and gave him the most chances, and that gives you an idea of just how badly no one could stand him.

I know Tony Hensley personaly and he has always been a well trusted friend and would never do harm to anyone.

     This is my favorite part right here, because Tony wrote it. That lame-ass motherfucker had to lie and pretend he was someone else in order to make himself sound better. But here’s the thing: Tony Hensley had NO friends at the theatre. Everyone hated him. It’s not because of initial prejudices either; it’s because he was a fucking douche-bag and he consistently acted like an ass, with no consideration for anyone else whatsoever. It’s funny however that he chose to portray himself as one of his own friends in this text however, as he clearly has insider information on both the theatre and Tony Hensley’s personal life.

I have personaly seen him capture a spider in his house and set it free outside instead of killing it. He is compassionate and caring and tries to make those around him happy as well. He has never stalked anyone and is only jealous because Tony  kissed the girl he had an obsessive crush on and only believed he was stalking here when he drove by her house one night when they were outside but little did he mention or fail to realize in his pathetic childrens mind that Tonys dad lives on the same street as her and he was driving to his house to drop off a letter to his Dad about a divorce settlement dispute happening between his parents that was really taking it's toll on his feelings.

     Let’s ignore the fact that he just completely contradicted his earlier statement of calling me a “closet homosexually”.

     Actually, the girl in question was going out with one of my best friends, and had been a good friend of mine for several years. In fact, I know quite well that Tony’s dad lived on the same street as her. The thing is, MY BEST FRIEND WAS IN THE CAR WITH TONY WHEN HE CHOSE TO FOLLOW ME IN HIS CAR. Let me give you a word of advice, Tony: next time you’re going to stalk someone, DON’T HAVE HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE PASSENGER SEAT OF YOUR CAR YOU FUCKING DUMB-ASS! Christ, your pathetically false claims have no credibility to them whatsoever, but maybe if you keep lying to yourself, eventually you’ll start believing it. Personally, I think it’s pathetic just how much you have to lie in order to make yourself sound better, because in truth, you’re not capable of living an honest, respectable, admirable life.

     But since he chose to bring up my good buddy and besmirch her good name, I feel I should point out something else. He went out with her on a date with her once. ONCE. He forced an awkward kiss upon her, and became freakishly obsessed with her afterwards. When finally he came to her job to harass her there, she had to make very clear to him how very much she was not interested in him. You know what he did? He covered his face with his hands and he cried. He cried like a little bitch. Stalking and obsessing were soon to follow.

And also to put the record strait since we're goona put the truth on the line: everyone stole from that theatre, everyone, even the prince valiant himself.

     Yes, it’s true, and I’ll be the first to admit it. Everyone at the theatre had their share of shady behavior, and everyone there, at some point, got out with more than they came in with. The difference is: not a single one of us got out with more than twenty bucks, whereas you got out with two hundred (which you miscounted and I told you to just leave in the safe, which, of course, you did not do) and on other occasions you robbed the place outright, taking thousands at a time. We all knew a heck of a lot better than to do that. Perhaps if you’d spent some time reading comics as a youth yourself, maybe you would have learned some concept of morality yourself.

Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear.”

     And we’re supposed to blindly believe the rant that you wrote? I wish I could know the blissfully ignorant state in which you live, completely devoid of any sort of logic.

Be seeing you,
The Virgin Prince
The Virgin Prince, 3:03 AM